my list Friday, Jan 15 2010

Okay so I thought about this long and hard and I came up with a pretty complete list I think.  So here you go:

I want a woman who….

-makes me laugh

-loves kids as much as I do

-I find attractive

-finds me attractive

-can teach me to dance

-wants to dance to old fashioned big band swing music

-cares about my health and me exercising

-is honest

-has eyes that just pop (eye make-up is a turn on)

-is spontaneous

-willing to follow me when i’m spontaneous

-wears cute clothes

-is my rock that I can lean on when I feel overwhelmed

-smells nice

-is someone who makes me thank God everyday and wonder what I could’ve possibly done to deserve her

-is willing to wear a cheerleaders outfit once in awhile

-lays her head on my shoulder when watching movies

-my aunts will like

-makes me want to get up in the morning

-holds my hand

-is a little clumsy

-cares about my friends

-pushes me to be a better man

-loves stuffed animals

-loves cheesy 80s movies and my references to them

-can handle my grandpa picking on her and can pick on him right back

-can teach me about life

One Response »

 

Thought this was funny… Saturday, Jul 11 2009

My official biography as it appears in the Nebraska State Junior Legion Baseball Tournament program:

Announcer:
Marcus Paul Zakrzewski
Date of Birth: 9/12/1987
Height: 5’9”
Weight: 185
Bats: Right
Throws: Like a Girl
Sign: Virgo

Marc is a 2006 graduate of St. Mary’s High School in O’Neill, Nebraska. He is currently a junior at the University of Notre Dame. He is majoring in Film and Television with a focus on Broadcasting and Screenwriting. Marc got his broadcasting start with KBRX while in high school and carried that over into college. He served as the color commentator for the Notre Dame volleyball team in the 2008 season and solo commentator for the Notre Dame softball team in 2009 along with assisting with the 2008-09 Irish hockey and basketball broadcasts. Marc was also featured as a ring announcer for Notre Dame’s annual Bengal Bouts boxing tournament. Along with his broadcasting duties, he also served as an executive producer for Notre Dame Television. During his tenure, Marc produced, wrote, directed, edited, or acted in many of NDTV’s programs. Marc enjoys long walks on the beach and gives a great back massage. He is currently single and looking. Ladies?

2 Responses »

 

Hey, So I’m Back… Friday, Jun 19 2009

Hey everyone,

I’m back for now.  I really don’t know what to write about but for some reason I feel like writing today.  This blog is me.  It is my life.  I can be completely selfish here.  I can be completely me here.  So I guess this is me:

If you don’t know by now, (which all of you probably should), I am home for awhile.  I left Notre Dame.  I’m not sure if I’m ever going back.  I was told back in February that I was depressed.  It made sense to me and I accepted it, but at the same time I didn’t really want to believe it.  If I was depressed, then I had been depressed my whole life.  I didn’t want to think about that.  I didn’t feel like I could come to terms with that.  

I’ve always been a pretty whiny person.  I would bitch and moan to nearly anyone who would listen.  I still do.  I’ve always wanted more for myself.  I wanted a better life.  I wanted to be happier.  Shit, I wanted a girlfriend — pretty much my one and only demand really.  But I never got that.  And so I bitched about it.  And I came up with excuse after excuse as to why.  Why me?  More importantly, why not me?

The longer I went on complaining, the worse I got.  I could see that and would try to stop myself once in awhile.  It never lasted too long though.  I finally reached a point where I truly hated myself.  This was six years ago.  Not much would deter that feeling.  I met a few people that got me out of my rut once in awhile, but nothing ever lasted.  Then I went to college.  It was a second chance for me.  I could reinvent myself.  I didn’t have to be pathetic anymore.  I could be Marc.  

I started out great.  I got decent grades, I was meeting people, hanging out, having fun.  But then that started to wear off.  I wasn’t getting the girlfriend I so desperately wanted.  I sank into my hole again.  I started hating me again.  I started hating everyone around me again.  Then I found a group of friends that really got me.  They truly liked who I was and I liked them.  I started off this year thinking things would truly be different for me.  I’ve got the friends, I’ve got the constant companionship I needed, now I’ll get the girlfriend.  Yeah, didn’t happen.  Back into my hole I go.

Well now I’m here.  I’m at home trying to fix my shit.  It’s difficult.  It’s damn lonely.  Brady’s gone.  Torie and John are here but only temporarily and then they’ll leave me too.  I’m still on the meds and I’m doing the therapy.  But it’s frustrating.  It feels like it’s going nowhere (although I know it is helping).  I had a really bad day yesterday.  A therapy session that uncovered a lot of shit that I didn’t like and I didn’t handle it well.  For the first time during this whole thing, I truly felt like I had an illness called depression.  

Now I’m not looking for pity.  Ok, I’m looking for a little pity but I know that kind of love is fleeting.  My whole point is that I think I accomplished something yesterday.  Now that I’ve hit this bottom, I think I can start turning it around.  Like I said, I don’t know where life will take me.  It’s a scary feeling.  I don’t want to go back to school right now.  It feels too much like failure to me.  But I don’t know what else to do.  I really want to run away but I know I can’t do that.  The future is completely unclear for me.  

I haven’t been writing in this blog for a long time.  Mostly because I’m ashamed of myself.  I’m a funny fucker with a great sense of humor.  I try to convey that here.  That’s what I want to be.  I want to make people laugh.  But I was ashamed of trying to do that while going through all this shit.  I’m still funny, I promise.  I’m also depressed.  I don’t want to seem like a hypocrite.  I don’t want to be seen as depressed.  But I’ve been ashamed of myself long enough.  So the blog’s back.  Maybe.  We’ll see how I feel tomorrow I guess.  

Love,

Marc

2 Responses »

 

question Thursday, May 21 2009

Who was so bored that they read all 34 of my blogs last friday?

I love you.

Marc

One Response »

 

The Playlist Monday, Mar 23 2009

A ten song playlist and why they are important to me:

1. Everlong (acoustic version) – Foo Fighters

This is my all time favorite song.  It’s the song I danced to that one time with that one girl.  It’s also the perfect love song.  Busting it out acoustically just brings out the heart.  I have been known to cry listening to this song.  If someday I were to get married, I wouldn’t care about anything else except that this is the first song we dance to.  Refusal would be a deal breaker for me.

2. Not Now – blink 182

The first of probably many Blink songs on this list.  This one was important in my life because at one point, I thought I was dying of an unknown disease back in the day.  This was my song of choice for those 6 months.  I hope this song is played at my funeral.

3. Trucker Hat – Bowling for Soup

On a lighter side, this song is just fun.  You might think that I picked this song because it reminded me of the girl that wore the trucker had that I crushed on back in the day.  However, it reminds me of more than that.  It reminds me of a time in my life and a group of friends that I to this day love dearly.  It reminds me of my best friends and some of my best memories.  Plus you can dance to it.

4. It Hurts – Angels and Airwaves

I could pick any song from this album and feel the same way, but I chose It Hurts because it’s all about the heartache.  This album did more for shaping my life than any other piece of music ever.  And it existed only because Blink had broken up.  It Hurts brings out the sad in me because it said everything that needed to be said about unrequited love.  This song is almost torturous now.  I can’t help but feel pain when I hear it but in a weird way I still love it.

5. Stuck in A Moment – U2

The ultimate song to have on your Ipod as you’re walking down the street and just people watching.  It’s a feel good song for me. Listening to this song just flat out cheers me up.  It gives me hope and it helps me see the beauty that is in the world.  I feel warm when listening to it.

6. Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy? – Fall Out Boy

I associate too many songs with too many girls.  This is yet another one of those songs with another one of those girls.  It’s still one of my anthems though.  Ladies, there are a lot of assholes out there in the world.  There are very few gentlemen.  Just remember who we are once your asshole boyfriend starts treating you like shit.

7. Life Less Ordinary – Carbon Leaf

The other song I danced to that one time with that one girl.  Also the other song that I will insist on being played at my (hypothetical) wedding.  This song takes me back to the one time in my life where I can point to and say, “That was what it was like to be happy.”

8. Stay – Lisa Loeb

I love angry girl rock.  This is the song that started it all for me.  I had such a huge crush on Lisa Loeb back in the 5th grade.  I know she was singing to me in this song.  Makes me think of horned rimmed glasses.

9. Mad Season – Matchbox Twenty

The song from my first real crush.  I felt stupid.  It was a weird thing for me back in 7th grade.  This song said it all.  It’s actually the song that inspired me to write my first song back in the day.  I haven’t listened to it in nearly 8 years.  Still one of the most significant songs of my lifetime.

10.  Everyday – Buddy Holly

This song reminds me of my childhood.  It’s recently become a popular remake commercial jingle for some reason.  It doesn’t matter.  When I hear this song, I’m instantly back in my dad’s Olds Eighty-Eight listening to his best of Buddy Holly cassette and thinking that this guy really loved rollercoasters.

So there they are.  Ten songs that I felt right now needed to be talked about in shaping my life.  I’m sure that this concept will be repeated many times in my blog as I am a big fan of music and it’s life changing ability.  The best part about these songs is that I can associate every single one of them to a girl I’ve crushed on at one time or another.  And none of them are emo songs!  Weird.

2 Responses »

 

New Random Thoughts Tuesday, Mar 17 2009

Again, I don’t have really anything significant but I haven’t updated in awhile so I figure I’ll throw some shit at you and see what sticks.  (Prepare for the shit covering.)

Do clothes really matter that much?  I mean, I was down to a rotation of about 6 shirts that were all worn and ragged and free ND promotion t-shirts.  This weekend I hit the PacSun with Torie and picked up a new set of 4 t-shirts and some shorts.  For some reason, they make me feel better about myself.  Also, I’ve caught girls looking at me.  That doesn’t happen.  Ever.

Check out the band Chester French.  Seriously, these guys kick major ass.

It’s official.  Role Models is my new favorite movie of all time.  Paul Rudd is the most underrated actor in the world and I proclaim my undying allegiance to him right here and now.

Holy fuck it is nice to have some warm weather for a change.  The cold really was getting to me and I was not pleasant to be around those last couple months.

Spring Break kicked ass.  I did nothing of significance.  Yet, it has been registered in my top two all time vacations.

I need new flip-flops.

I weighed myself when I was home and discovered that I have dropped to a mean 174 pounds.  I am very proud of myself considering that I was topping off at about 215 before Christmas break.  Losing 41 pounds in 3 months is pretty damn impressive!  I am back to a 32 waistline and a Medium shirt size.  Neither of which I have even thought of trying on since junior year of high school.  Go me!

Brady’s coming on Friday to spend a whole week at Notre Dame.  I am stoked! I get to spend significant amounts of time with two of my best friends in the world in a span of two weeks.  Fuckin right!

I look good in green and red apparently.  I look not as good in gray.  This disturbs me to no end.

I Love You, Man hits theaters this week.  Totally going on Saturday with Brady.  First movie I’ve been to in a theater since Zack and Miri Make A Porno.  I’m totally due.

First softball game is Sunday.  I’m doing a double header play-by-play solo style.  Should be good times.  The pipes have been rusty.

Apparently, the jeans that I’d been hiding in the back of my closet make my ass look spectacular. This comes from the most reliable source to me. Those jeans are back in the rotation. Also, I’m still obsessed with my ass.

Too many people are getting married.  Quit it.

Dysentery Gary is still my most played iTunes song.  I love me.

I also kinda hate me. But not as much as I did 10 days ago.

I’m totally gonna go take a jog around the lakes now.

Ok, so that’s all my shit.  Go wash yourself now. You smell like shit.

One Response »

 

Where do I go from here? Monday, Mar 9 2009

I’m in a mood again.  Currently, I’m on Spring Break.  I just got home tonight (Sunday) because I spent the weekend with my best friend in Omaha. If you put this weekend’s itinerary down on paper, it would probably make me want to jump off a cliff. But in all reality, I just finished one of the best weekends of my life. The highlights:

1. Doing a jigsaw (not crossword) puzzle in the house of complete strangers while babysitting their kids.

2. Watching “Reba” and enjoying the hell out of it despite my initial objections.

3. Standing in the prom dress section of Yonkers waiting while my friend tried on multiple outfits.

I can’t explain it. I really can’t, but I would spend the rest of my life the way I spent this past weekend if given the option. I think it was because it allowed me to be every part of me that I love. And for the first time in months, I didn’t feel lonely. I would never trade this experience for the world.

Disappointingly, the feeling didn’t last.  I’m home, which is great. I love my parents and my brother. But now, I feel like I’m back in the real world. I no longer feel like I can be me. I feel alone again. Oh well, I guess I’ll just get more therapy.

Moody Marcus

One Response »

 

It would be nice if someone would FML Tuesday, Mar 3 2009

Okay, so I’ve been doing this little bit with friends and so I thought I’d share it with the other person that reads this.  I don’t get this whole FML thing.  From my understanding, FML loosely translates into “Fuck My Life”.  Is that really the sentiment you want to express?  You are literally asking for your life to be fucked.  So essentially, all these hot and slightly depressed girls are totally asking the general public to fuck their lives.  Now this is all well and good.  I have no problem with that.  But don’t back down when somebody calls you out on it.  When you tell me “FML”, then you shouldn’t be offended when I try to lead you into the bedroom.  You can’t give me permission to fuck your life and then immediately take it back once I agree.  Also, you shouldn’t slap me.  That hurts.  So ladies, next time you pull a bonehead move, think carefully about the words you use.  There are plenty of guys out there that would be more than happy to take you up on your offer.  So if you don’t want your life to be fucked (at least not right away), say something like TMOFADAAM which roughly means “Take Me Out For A Dinner And A Movie”.  Because I would bet that’s what you really want.  And there are far fewer guys that are willing to that.  Those are the special ones.

Peace and IWLTTYOFADAAM,

Marc “Those first six letters mean ‘I would like to take you’” Zakrzewski

Leave a Response »

 

1000 views! Sunday, Mar 1 2009

My blog reached a milestone!  Six or so total people clicked on my blog one thousand times!!!  I’m quite excited.  Ok, not really.  But I’m glad I reached such a round number.  This weekend has been pretty boring.  I literally watched all of seasons 1-4 of The Office this weekend.  I don’t sleep.  I don’t do work (well).  I just sit around, play online dominoes and watch The Office.  God, I need a vacation.

Morbid Marcus

One Response »

 

This is why I hate me Sunday, Feb 22 2009

Ok, I don’t actually completely hate myself.  I can be funny.  And I can be weird.  And I look good in a suit.  (I was shocked too!) But here’s something I really don’t like about myself.  I’m so incredibly shy.  I’m shy to the point that I am scared of people. Not all people.  But certain people scare me.

So here’s the scoop.  This weekend is Junior Parents Weekend and my and all other junior’s parents are in town for the big shindig.  Tonight we had a big fancy schmancy dinner and then really nothing going on after that.  So my parents and I chilled at the Spring Hill Suites hotel.  (My ‘rents are living large this weekend!)  It was a good night.  We chilled out, watched some SNL rerun and then rocked out the Disney Channel.  I had an earlier discussion with my dad that the Disney Channel sitcoms can be very tolerable and sometimes downright funny.  After a viewing of “The Suite Life” and “Hannah Montana”, I’m still not sure he’s convinced but he does give props to Hannah for a Ray Romano cameo.

Anyway, we get sleepy so my dad takes me back to ND.  We get down to the lobby of the hotel and I spot some people I know. Now these people aren’t strangers.  I’ve hung out with them in the past.  In fact, I kinda dig all of them.  They are very cool cats and I find them all very entertaining to be around.  But here’s the deal.  I am very unassuming.  Even though I’ve hung out with these guys probably twenty times in my life, I was too shy to go over and talk to them.  I’ve never really gotten any hints that these people don’t like me.  However, I can’t help but be scared shitless that I’m nothing more than an annoying little shit to them.

Now, I’m pretty sure they think I’m weird.  Which I’m okay with because I know I’m weird.  But I have no evidence that they don’t like me.  In fact, I have circumstantial evidence that they may in fact do like me.  But since I’m not really tight with them, I don’t really hang out with them much anymore. Which I understand cause they shouldn’t have to worry about my well being. Like I said before, I’m very unassuming and scared shitless of being thought of as a mook.  Which means I don’t go around actively seeking them out to hang with.  Which is a double whammy because the less I ask to hang out, the less they think, “Hey, that Marc kid is fun.  Let’s go dancing with him!”  and actively seek me out to hang.  

Tonight was just another letdown in my long list of wimping out.  I could’ve very easily just gone over there and been like “Hey, what’s up?  Here’s my dad.  Oh those are your parents?  Nice to meet you.  Okay, cool, well, see ya!”  But no, I ducked my head, avoided eye contact, halfway hoped somebody would notice me and say my name, and walked hastily out the door.  

So, long story short, I’m a wimp.

The End.

Marc

3 Responses »